The Garden Gnome Uprising is Imminent. Be Prepared.

Garden Gnomes are rising. And they are coming for you.

Don’t panic. The threat is real, but you still have time to prepare. We have created this site to help the average human survive the upcoming apocalypse, because your government will not. You are on your own.GG_Logo2b

We know you hear about crises all the time. Ebola, zombies, nuclear war, H1N1. Yes, those are scary. But they might never happen.  The Garden Gnome Uprising will happen within the next 6 months. This is a FACT.

I am sure you are wondering how we know this.  We have government contacts, eye witnesses, and first-hand experiences to name a few.  We are not typical conspiracy theorists — we have spoken in-depth with government agents who have studied gnomes for years. We cannot quote them here, because they swore us to secrecy, but believe us when we tell you, the threat is real.

Gnomes have been seen in greater numbers everywhere, mostly in the Northwestern United States. We have conducted hundreds of interviews with eyewitnesses to gnome activity. Most will not be interviewed on camera, but we did get one brave person to speak on camera. Video coming to the site very soon.

We are writing a comprehensive history of Garden Gnomes, but the information is hard to gather. To see what we have learned so far, visit our history page.

Please take a few minutes to review the information on our site. It might save your life.

4 thoughts on “The Garden Gnome Uprising is Imminent. Be Prepared.

  1. Excellent goods from you, man. I have understand your stuff previous to and you are just too magnificent.
    I really like what you have acquired here, really like
    what you are saying and the way in which you say
    it. You make it entertaining and you still take care of to keep it wise.
    I can’t wait to read far more from you. This is
    really a terrific website.

  2. Just wish to say your article is as amazing. The clarity in your post is just nice and i can assume you are an expert on this subject.

    Fine with your permission allow me to grab your feed to keep updated
    with forthcoming post. Thanks a million and please keep
    up the enjoyable work.

Leave a Reply to legal sounds Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published.


*