Signs

Is your home or yard infested?

If you have a whimsical sense to you and you frequent home improvement stores, it is entirely possible that you have succumbed to the introduction of a garden gnome to your home. You are also at risk if your neighbors have similar characteristics.

Tell-tale signs:

  1. Noises – Gnomes emit a pleasant high pitched chirping sound when active. You may think that this chirp is coming from a beautiful bird like a pelican, but it is likely a gnome.
  2. A wet toothbrush – Have you ever woken up in the morning and feel like your toothbrush has been used but can’t figure why? Gnomes.
  3. Chemtrails – While it is thought by some that these are generated by different government agencies, gnomes actually use these as a form of mapping out cities.
  4. 8-track tapes – Gnomes could be somewhat considered the original hipsters and relish the musical stylings of Paul Anka.
  5. Grass – We are not talking the wacky kind that some liberals would like you to think is completely harmless. Gnomes love grass and love a nice lawn even more. A well manicured lawn may sound nice in theory but is an invitation for an instant infestation.
  6. Flowers – Gnomes love colors. Flowers are colorful. Flowers with greens and blues appear to inhibit creativity in gnomes and should be avoided at all costs.

4 thoughts on “Signs

  1. Wow, thanks for the great information! I thought I was going crazy. Now I know this is a real thing. I’m getting prepared today!!!

  2. You think this is funny and making fun of people for things that are really happening. You aren’t helping things are we know what you are doing spreading fake things like this to make us not see the other things around us. Fuck you.

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