Is your home or yard infested?

If you have a whimsical sense to you and you frequent home improvement stores, it is entirely possible that you have succumbed to the introduction of a garden gnome to your home. You are also at risk if your neighbors have similar characteristics.

Tell-tale signs:

1. Noises – Gnomes emit a pleasant high pitched chirping sound when active. You may think that this chirp is coming from a beautiful bird like a pelican, but it is likely a gnome.
2. A wet toothbrush – Have you ever woken up in the morning and feel like your toothbrush has been used but can’t figure why? Gnomes.
3. Chemtrails – While it is thought by some that these are generated by different government agencies, gnomes actually use these as a form of mapping out cities.
4. 8-track tapes – Gnomes could be somewhat considered the original hipsters and relish the musical stylings of Paul Anka.
5. Grass – We are not talking the wacky kind that some liberals would like you to think is completely harmless. Gnomes love grass and love a nice lawn even more. A well manicured lawn may sound nice in theory but is an invitation for an instant infestation.
6. Flowers – Gnomes love colors. Flowers are colorful. Flowers with greens and blues appear to inhibit creativity in gnomes and should be avoided at all costs.